The Nigerian Mentality Series: Hello, meet my husband’s girlfriend

PoshaLadies and gentlemen, married Nigerian men are cheating on their wives. “Ah, my sistah that’s old news” is one of the responses I get frequently. I am not insinuating that all married men in Nigeria cheat but a high percentage of married men in Nigeria are cheating, and it is getting out of hand. Back in the day, men at least cheated discreetly out of respect for their wives. Nowadays, married men openly cheat on their wives. The social insensitivity to their wives is alarming. One can argue that cheating is cheating; it does not matter if it is done openly or discreetly. However, men’s act of publicly cheating on their wives illuminates how they view women in our society.
Adultery is a threat to the foundation of our society. A lot of us laugh about it, but it is not a laughing matter. Do you know how many children are born out of wedlock to these men? Are these men taking care of these children? Family is the building block of our society. If the very core of our society is threatened, what hope does Nigeria have in building a stronger society and better leaders?

Our children are the leaders of tomorrow. What legacy are you leaving for your children? Pain is obviously subjective. How are these women dealing with the pain of their husbands creeping outside their marital home? Somehow society frowns on her for leaving her marital home when they clearly know of her husband’s extracurricular activities. Society has subconsciously given married men a pass to cheat on their wives. Women are married with the knowledge that their husbands will cheat and they have to deal with it.

Mothers, teach your young ladies to have a dream larger than being a housewife. There’s nothing wrong with being a housewife; however, times are changing and one must change with time. Due to the rise of extramarital affairs by men, young women are called to rise and be independent for themselves. This independence in today’s culture requires more than just a pretty face but a pretty brain, which is acquired through higher education. The fact that young women are aspiring to be housewives may be the very ideology that is enabling this behavior. From my observation, women who aspire to be just housewives in life are willing to tolerate anything to protect their lifelong dream. This in turn gives their husbands the confidence they need to have extracurricular activities with other women. It could also be that many of these cheating husbands feel they did their wives a favor by marrying them, and therefore their unfaithful actions are justified.

The reality is that married men are publicly disrespecting their wives and this should be concerning to women in Nigeria. We have lost respect from men. Our society will continuously treat us as the underdogs until we fight for our place in society. A man cheats and everyone claps their hands for him but if the reverse occurs, the lady is condemned by society.

We will never see our better Nigeria, if we don’t change our Nigerian mentality. Our better Nigeria starts here.


2 thoughts on “The Nigerian Mentality Series: Hello, meet my husband’s girlfriend

  1. Everyone claps their hands for a man that cheats? Which society are you living in? Where in Nigeria does this kind of thing happen? Me the Nigeria I live in does not clap for a man that cheats. Such a biased and almost sexist article. If You are going to write about unfaithful Nigerian men, make sure you write about unfaithful Nigerian women too, or the ones that are only going with men mainly because of money. The thing that vexes me is that there are so many good and faithful and God fearing men that will probably honour a woman the way she should be honoured but most of these women that you side with will never go for them because they are not rich. This is coming from a female and it is unfortunate to say that I know many Naija girs that do that including the infidelity. Cheating is not a male or female thing, it is a moral and character thing. If you want to claim that family is the building block of society then speak to the family as a whole not only the men. We women never want to admit that we have some serious faults too. It is always the mens fault. Me I am luck to have been blessed with a good man and a good family but I know many that are not and in more than half of those that I know it is sad to say that I can point to the wife as the cause for their struggles. But dats just my opinion because I don’t know the truth about everything going on since I do not live in their house. If you want to be harsh and honest then at least be fair.

  2. People are obviously clapping their hands because Nigerian men cheating is becoming more socially acceptable. Whether you like to believe it or not, our society is unfair to women. A married man who cheats is not treated the same way like the woman who cheats. Yes, women are cheating.. Don’t you have see what is done to women when they cheat? How come men are not treating the same way? For a man to have the audacity to bring his girlfriend to his marital home that takes cheating to another level. No, I am not going to talk about women cheating when men and women are treated the same in our society.

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